Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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