woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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