Me too!
it hurts more in the daytime
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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