I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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