Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
