I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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