that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize