yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
