I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she peed on how many people?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
