My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
