How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you have to choose: penises or morals?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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