Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
