so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize