great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
