He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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