we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
