He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
