I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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