Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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