im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
