He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize