she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
