You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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