Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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