Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
