thus making me awesome and them whores
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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