There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
