even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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