I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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