When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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