Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
