Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
