if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It's shark week go big or go home
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
