I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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