Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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