The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
