I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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