My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
