it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
