I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
