Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
