Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
