garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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