Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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