I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
