I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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