What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize