We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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