There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
