How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
