We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
