hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
