idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
