I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
