You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
