i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
