You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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