I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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