My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
