Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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