Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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