I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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