she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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