Do you still have your period?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
